Written on July 28, 2009
So, I didn't die. I thought I was going to die. I predicted I was going to die before the start. Since I am typing this right now I guess I didn't die.
This is the story of the Pink Course - Part Deux!
I never know before hand which course it will be. This is only the third time I've done it. Apparently there are four courses but since it has been such a rainy summer a few of them have been closed.
I got dressed this afternoon and was already nervous because of the temperature. It was over 80 degrees. Normally, in that kind of weather I am indoors, hiding under a hat sipping something cold or in water. Running outside in that kind of heat is something I NEVER, EVER do. Except today.
I ate well today. I hydrated well today. I bought some Powerade and sipped it on the drive. I got there and parked. I decided to jog a round a little bit to warm up and try to shake off the stupid butterflies. I guess it did warm me up but it did not get rid of the butterflies. Butterflies that I have no idea why they are there. I am not there to win. I am not actually racing. To me, it is part of my half marathon training. I am not out for speed.
I march myself and my cash up to registration and as I walk in I hear someone behind the counter say "it is the pink course tonight". I instantly thought I was going to throw up. My heart rate shot up and I paid and started breathing hard. I pinned my number on and started jogging a little more.
I met up with The Rock (Nikki) and her posse. I tried to talk myself down as did they. They were all wonderfully supportive. Which is great. That is the one thing I truly appreciate about this group. There is friendly competition but everyone is cheering you on.
The kids race starts and ends and I still feel nauseous. I am chit chatting and wallowing in my fear and not really noticing that the race is starting. So I take off and immediately start huffing and puffing. I try to gain some composure as I meander through the first twists and turns.
Eventually I find my breath but I am still feeling like someone might be behind me chasing me with a gun or something. Slowly the butterflies dissipate and as they do the first tough part comes. I huff and I puff and blooooooooooow the butterflies out. I trudge up the hill and then down and then zig zag. So far so good.
Then I hit the hill that made me walk the last time. I looked and it and wanted to stop and walk but I didn't. I did slow down because it was hot, for me, and I was seriously sucking wind. I didn't stop and I didn't walk. I made it up the hill and felt a brief moment of victory. Then we headed into the woods.
Holy crap... Well, the good thing is that it was less muddy. The bad thing is that the course didn't change. It is like some kind of ridiculous trail roller coaster except you have to run it. I went up and down and zigged and zagged and hoped and jumped. Then, then...the big drop. Seriously it is almost going straight down and the back up again. Last time, I stopped and looked it at. Then I said a few colorful words and slowly, went down sideways. This time, I slowed down on my approach and went for it. The bad thing...it was scary as hell. The good thing, it gave me great momentum to get up the other side.
I trudged through, jogging, running and shuffling along. Talking to myself the whole time. Trying to convince myself that I could do this. I kept at it, as people passed me. Trying not to feel bad about being passed.
There were more of those windy, twisty, snaky paths. I got through it. Slowly but surely. Then it was close to the end. The last big hill and even though I knew I could have kept jogging or shuffling along I didn't. I walked..power walked up. As soon as I did it I knew it was a bad idea. I kept walking, pumping my arms and trying to muster up the energy to drag my butt up that hill. As I got to the top I started jogging again. I was able to keep a steady until the end.
This time I finished before the 80yr olds.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Kripalu is the Anti Bikram
Written on February 4, 2009
I had to write this right away. I had to get out what I am feeling right now because I am not sure I would be able to explain it later. At this moment I feel like I've just had a full body massage, a couple glasses of wine and a vacation. All I really had was a Kripalu class at YogaVT.
"Kripalu Yoga combines postures, breath work, inner focus and personal awareness. Classes explore the release of blocked energy and the integration of emotion. The Kripalu experience is centered upon knowing the body while achieving balance of mind." This is from their website. Emily was our instructor.
I attended with my friend Connie. We thought we were taking a Jivamukti class. Yeah, I had never heard of that before. I could barely pronounce it. I'm not sure what the class is about nor do I care at this particular moment. The Jivamukti class wasn't this evening. Tonight's class was Kripalu. Either way I had no idea what I was in for.
Still feeling a little anxious from my Bikram experience I went in and laid my mat down. Once I did that I realized A)My mat had been in the car for several days and was cold and B) I had never brought it in the house from sweaty Bikram so it was wet and NASTY. Luckily they had extra mats and let me use one. There was a gigantic forced hot air vent pumping full blast in to the room. I am very worried and thinking to myself "holy crap, please don't tell me Kripalu is secret code for hot yoga". Looking around at the way people are dressed helps calm me a little. People definitely had more clothes on in this place. One woman even had on a hoodie. The stupid heater just kept blasting though. Finally the instructor came in , turned down the thermostat and the beast shut off.
We started in a seated position with a single chant of Om/Aum. I have to admit when I first did Yoga a while ago, the whole premise of the chant escaped me. I thought it was ridiculous. Then in one my buying binges I bought the P90X DVDs. I seem to collect workout DVDs. You've seen it on TV. Tony Horton telling you that you can get completely ripped in 90 days! So there is a Yoga DVD and it is killer. They end with I think, six chants of Om. Tony says, "This is not a cult or a religion it is just Oms.... You are basically massaging your central nervous system" Before hearing this I have to admit it was hard for me to get in to the whole Om thing. I felt silly. But massaging my central nervous system sounded like a good idea. So we started Kripalu with a single Om.
The rest of the class moves at a most humane pace. Emily's voice is calm, soothing, slow and soft without being annoying. You know the type that is monotone, slow and so annoying that it makes you want to punch somebody? Yeah, she was not that. She gave clear concise instruction and gentle correction. In down dog she came and placed the heel of her hand on my lower back and pushed. Now, of all the poses, I thought I had down dog...well, down. Apparently I wasn't down enough. Emily placed the palm of her hand on the base of my spine. It wasn't forceful or anything, just a steady pressure sending my butt and hips farther back than I was able to make them go on my own. Fine.
The class was made up of a mix of young, older, men and women. Everyone seemed friendly and accepting. There were experts and newbies. I fell somewhere in the middle. I know most of the poses and can get in and out of them OK. My form may not be perfect but I try. I was trying to take this whole experience in and just absorb it. A few times I got interrupted and reverted back to middle school. I am pretty sure there were some people there who were regretting their choice in lunch because several times someone let some very loud gas escape. I focused on my pose and my breath. Someone releases yet another *frrrrttt*. I focus on my pose and not so much nose breathing this time. OK, it is human everyone does it. I get over it and continue. Emily guides us into a pose, whose name I can't remember, but I do remember that it sounded like Rice Krispies in there. There were knees and ankles popping like crazy.
We continued moving in and out of poses. We did an inverted pose. A twisting pose. All in all it was not very strenuous but yet in still I feel like there were some muscles worked. Then it gets towards the end. I know this because she tells us to lie down on our back and prepare for shavasana/corpse pose. It is at that point I realize that at no time during the entire class did I look for a clock. I didn't find myself wondering "is this going to be over soon" I get bored easily and this happens frequently with me. But not this evening. I had reached the end and was focused on one thing for more than 30 seconds.
Emily shuts off the lights. Everyone is on their backs, palms up, feet together, eyes closed breathing regularly. There is some guided meditation then silence. Well it was almost silent. As I am talking the thoughts out of my head by repeating to myself over and over "clear head, meditation" over and over I get interrupted by a *snnoort*. I shake it off and continue trying to clear the day from head. Trying not to think of what I have to do at home. Clearing out what I should have done today and didn't. Clearing it all out. Then again *snnnnnnorrt*. I think to myself, "did someone fall asleep and start snoring?. I shake it off and continue my meditation and then yeah, it happens again I am preeety sure that someone isn't just super extra congested back there. Once I've identified it I can ignore it. So I did.
Emily turned on the light and asked us to roll on to our right side. Then push ourselves up to a seated position. We sit cross legged or criss cross applesauce, as the kids say now. We end with Oms. I think there were three or four Oms then three shantis and then three or four more Oms. I've since gotten over my fear of Oms and belted them out loud and strong. So strong that I could feel my insides reverberating. There is the massage to the central nervous system. As this is going on I am struck by how beautiful it sounds. There were close to 30 people in that room and the sound of Oms was, was, I'm having a hard time finding the right word. It was hauntingly beautiful. We ended with our hands to heart and Namaste.
I've never done any of those 60s mind bending drugs. Mainly because I was born in 1970, but you know the ones they talk about on the TV shows, where everyone is all mellow and dancing. Everyone is happy and has a stupid smile on their face and you wondering what the hell they are so happy about?! Yeah, well THAT is how I felt. I had this stupid smile on my face. My eyes were half cocked and I was moving slow. I don't move slow. EVER. I always have to be somewhere yesterday. Tonight I was moving slow. I was moving slow and I liked it. I felt relaxed and happy.
Yay for Kripalu and thank you Connie!
I had to write this right away. I had to get out what I am feeling right now because I am not sure I would be able to explain it later. At this moment I feel like I've just had a full body massage, a couple glasses of wine and a vacation. All I really had was a Kripalu class at YogaVT.
"Kripalu Yoga combines postures, breath work, inner focus and personal awareness. Classes explore the release of blocked energy and the integration of emotion. The Kripalu experience is centered upon knowing the body while achieving balance of mind." This is from their website. Emily was our instructor.
I attended with my friend Connie. We thought we were taking a Jivamukti class. Yeah, I had never heard of that before. I could barely pronounce it. I'm not sure what the class is about nor do I care at this particular moment. The Jivamukti class wasn't this evening. Tonight's class was Kripalu. Either way I had no idea what I was in for.
Still feeling a little anxious from my Bikram experience I went in and laid my mat down. Once I did that I realized A)My mat had been in the car for several days and was cold and B) I had never brought it in the house from sweaty Bikram so it was wet and NASTY. Luckily they had extra mats and let me use one. There was a gigantic forced hot air vent pumping full blast in to the room. I am very worried and thinking to myself "holy crap, please don't tell me Kripalu is secret code for hot yoga". Looking around at the way people are dressed helps calm me a little. People definitely had more clothes on in this place. One woman even had on a hoodie. The stupid heater just kept blasting though. Finally the instructor came in , turned down the thermostat and the beast shut off.
We started in a seated position with a single chant of Om/Aum. I have to admit when I first did Yoga a while ago, the whole premise of the chant escaped me. I thought it was ridiculous. Then in one my buying binges I bought the P90X DVDs. I seem to collect workout DVDs. You've seen it on TV. Tony Horton telling you that you can get completely ripped in 90 days! So there is a Yoga DVD and it is killer. They end with I think, six chants of Om. Tony says, "This is not a cult or a religion it is just Oms.... You are basically massaging your central nervous system" Before hearing this I have to admit it was hard for me to get in to the whole Om thing. I felt silly. But massaging my central nervous system sounded like a good idea. So we started Kripalu with a single Om.
The rest of the class moves at a most humane pace. Emily's voice is calm, soothing, slow and soft without being annoying. You know the type that is monotone, slow and so annoying that it makes you want to punch somebody? Yeah, she was not that. She gave clear concise instruction and gentle correction. In down dog she came and placed the heel of her hand on my lower back and pushed. Now, of all the poses, I thought I had down dog...well, down. Apparently I wasn't down enough. Emily placed the palm of her hand on the base of my spine. It wasn't forceful or anything, just a steady pressure sending my butt and hips farther back than I was able to make them go on my own. Fine.
The class was made up of a mix of young, older, men and women. Everyone seemed friendly and accepting. There were experts and newbies. I fell somewhere in the middle. I know most of the poses and can get in and out of them OK. My form may not be perfect but I try. I was trying to take this whole experience in and just absorb it. A few times I got interrupted and reverted back to middle school. I am pretty sure there were some people there who were regretting their choice in lunch because several times someone let some very loud gas escape. I focused on my pose and my breath. Someone releases yet another *frrrrttt*. I focus on my pose and not so much nose breathing this time. OK, it is human everyone does it. I get over it and continue. Emily guides us into a pose, whose name I can't remember, but I do remember that it sounded like Rice Krispies in there. There were knees and ankles popping like crazy.
We continued moving in and out of poses. We did an inverted pose. A twisting pose. All in all it was not very strenuous but yet in still I feel like there were some muscles worked. Then it gets towards the end. I know this because she tells us to lie down on our back and prepare for shavasana/corpse pose. It is at that point I realize that at no time during the entire class did I look for a clock. I didn't find myself wondering "is this going to be over soon" I get bored easily and this happens frequently with me. But not this evening. I had reached the end and was focused on one thing for more than 30 seconds.
Emily shuts off the lights. Everyone is on their backs, palms up, feet together, eyes closed breathing regularly. There is some guided meditation then silence. Well it was almost silent. As I am talking the thoughts out of my head by repeating to myself over and over "clear head, meditation" over and over I get interrupted by a *snnoort*. I shake it off and continue trying to clear the day from head. Trying not to think of what I have to do at home. Clearing out what I should have done today and didn't. Clearing it all out. Then again *snnnnnnorrt*. I think to myself, "did someone fall asleep and start snoring?. I shake it off and continue my meditation and then yeah, it happens again I am preeety sure that someone isn't just super extra congested back there. Once I've identified it I can ignore it. So I did.
Emily turned on the light and asked us to roll on to our right side. Then push ourselves up to a seated position. We sit cross legged or criss cross applesauce, as the kids say now. We end with Oms. I think there were three or four Oms then three shantis and then three or four more Oms. I've since gotten over my fear of Oms and belted them out loud and strong. So strong that I could feel my insides reverberating. There is the massage to the central nervous system. As this is going on I am struck by how beautiful it sounds. There were close to 30 people in that room and the sound of Oms was, was, I'm having a hard time finding the right word. It was hauntingly beautiful. We ended with our hands to heart and Namaste.
I've never done any of those 60s mind bending drugs. Mainly because I was born in 1970, but you know the ones they talk about on the TV shows, where everyone is all mellow and dancing. Everyone is happy and has a stupid smile on their face and you wondering what the hell they are so happy about?! Yeah, well THAT is how I felt. I had this stupid smile on my face. My eyes were half cocked and I was moving slow. I don't move slow. EVER. I always have to be somewhere yesterday. Tonight I was moving slow. I was moving slow and I liked it. I felt relaxed and happy.
Yay for Kripalu and thank you Connie!
Bikram Yoga Kicked My Butt
Written January 31, 2009
So I go to Bikram Yoga for the first time. I know it is going to be hot so I hydrate and wear as little clothing as my modesty and self image will allow.. This translates in to some mid thigh length shorts and racer back tank..
I walked in and every one is nice and smiling. The instructor signed me in and shows me where to change and put my stuff. As we are walking to the changing rooms I see people walking into the studio looking like they are going to the beach. Guys with short shorts and no shirts, women with sports bras and these teeny tiny little boy short bikini bottom looking things. In my head I'm thinking there is no way in hell I will be wearing that stuff.
I get changed. I hung up my coat and stroll into the studio. As I opened the door I get a blast of heat. HOLY CRAP IT IS HOT IN THERE! That is what I am thinking anyway. I immediately started to panic and wanted to run the hell out of there. Naima does not like the heat. Naima doesn't do well in the heat. Naima's mood gets foul in the heat. This was my mindset the entire first half of the class. The instructor guided us into a pose and as I go in I was thinking "it is really freaking hot in here!"
About halfway through the class I realized I made a mahusive mistake. Lotion. Why was lotion a mistake you may ask. Well, let me tell you. First, nothing will help you sweat more than lotion. In this particular setting, you are in no need of assistance to sweat. The other reason lotion was a bad idea is that it creates a skin surface that is not grip conducive. For the Gumby flexible types this isn't an issue. For people like me who are less flexible and need to grab body parts to hold a pose this was the pits. I could not keep a hold of anything. Arms kept slipping, hands would just glide off. It was awful. While I was getting ready to go I wisely decided against my usual eye cream, waterproof mascara routine. I had never been more happy that I didn't have on make up. To say that sweat dripped into my eye would be an understatement. It felt like I had just dunked my head in a pool and just gotten out. I continued to flow in and out of the poses as directed still thinking of how hot it is.
Then it happened. I was breathing hard. I was sweating like nobody's business and I wobbled. I didn't fall because I just don't fall. My body doesn't fall. I will throw my back out keeping myself upright but I don't fall. I blinked hard. Took a deep breath and blinked again this time slower and wobbled. At that point I had to leave the room. I thought I was going to pass out. I thought I was going to toss my cookies. I wanted to get my stuff and run out of there like a bat out of hell. But I didn't.
I caught my breath and composed myself. Then I hear "Are you OK out here?" I said yes and got my self together and draged my butt back into that furnace of a room. Oh..did I mention how many people where there? I didn't? OK, let me tell you.Everybody and their mamma. Let me back track a little. I dropped Tiya of at BHS to meet the bus to her track meet at 7:00am. The class started at 8:00am so I am REALLY early. I figure I would go to the supermarket and pick up a few things. Anyone that knows me knows there is no quick shopping for anything for me so I knew I could blow off 30 mins picking up 4 things. And I did. I got to the studio at about 7:45 and it was packed. There were more people in that room that seemed humanly possible. Then, even more people kept coming in. I thought to myself "how is anyone going to be able to move?". So on top of it being a gazillion degrees in the room there were people packed in there like sardines. Packed like sardines and sweating and creating more heat.
No puking, no faiting, no quitting. I got back in and talked myself into continuing this class. I have to finish because quitters never win and winners never quit. Besides, my husband and daughter took the class and they finished and I will be damned if I will let them "beat me". Competitiveness in this household is off the charts. I got back in and tried to keep my mind off the heat. I'm in tree which they then talk you down and you bend forward and have your hands on the floor. I looked back and I notice that this guy's shorts are...not dripping but pouring sweat. It looks like someone is standing over him and just pouring water down his back and it is flowing off his shorts. THAT much water.
I waffled and wavered through the rest of the class and wanted to sprint out of there to the 12 degree weather outside. Nothing about my body wanted to move fast. I tried..I really did try to move fast but I couldn't I was spent. It was about an hour and half and I felt like had just run 50 miles or so. Somewhere along the way I tweaked my back. Nothing too serious, just helping me move slower than I already am. I don't do public showers so I towel off, change clothes and leave.
It is now about 1:30pm and I am still exhausted. My Bikram Yoga experience was marred by my own internal voice. While I didn't love it, I didn't hate it either. I feel like I have to give it another chance. I am going to do another class and avoid the mistakes I made in the first one. I will also remember not to dwell on how frickin' hot it is in there.
So I go to Bikram Yoga for the first time. I know it is going to be hot so I hydrate and wear as little clothing as my modesty and self image will allow.. This translates in to some mid thigh length shorts and racer back tank..
I walked in and every one is nice and smiling. The instructor signed me in and shows me where to change and put my stuff. As we are walking to the changing rooms I see people walking into the studio looking like they are going to the beach. Guys with short shorts and no shirts, women with sports bras and these teeny tiny little boy short bikini bottom looking things. In my head I'm thinking there is no way in hell I will be wearing that stuff.
I get changed. I hung up my coat and stroll into the studio. As I opened the door I get a blast of heat. HOLY CRAP IT IS HOT IN THERE! That is what I am thinking anyway. I immediately started to panic and wanted to run the hell out of there. Naima does not like the heat. Naima doesn't do well in the heat. Naima's mood gets foul in the heat. This was my mindset the entire first half of the class. The instructor guided us into a pose and as I go in I was thinking "it is really freaking hot in here!"
About halfway through the class I realized I made a mahusive mistake. Lotion. Why was lotion a mistake you may ask. Well, let me tell you. First, nothing will help you sweat more than lotion. In this particular setting, you are in no need of assistance to sweat. The other reason lotion was a bad idea is that it creates a skin surface that is not grip conducive. For the Gumby flexible types this isn't an issue. For people like me who are less flexible and need to grab body parts to hold a pose this was the pits. I could not keep a hold of anything. Arms kept slipping, hands would just glide off. It was awful. While I was getting ready to go I wisely decided against my usual eye cream, waterproof mascara routine. I had never been more happy that I didn't have on make up. To say that sweat dripped into my eye would be an understatement. It felt like I had just dunked my head in a pool and just gotten out. I continued to flow in and out of the poses as directed still thinking of how hot it is.
Then it happened. I was breathing hard. I was sweating like nobody's business and I wobbled. I didn't fall because I just don't fall. My body doesn't fall. I will throw my back out keeping myself upright but I don't fall. I blinked hard. Took a deep breath and blinked again this time slower and wobbled. At that point I had to leave the room. I thought I was going to pass out. I thought I was going to toss my cookies. I wanted to get my stuff and run out of there like a bat out of hell. But I didn't.
I caught my breath and composed myself. Then I hear "Are you OK out here?" I said yes and got my self together and draged my butt back into that furnace of a room. Oh..did I mention how many people where there? I didn't? OK, let me tell you.Everybody and their mamma. Let me back track a little. I dropped Tiya of at BHS to meet the bus to her track meet at 7:00am. The class started at 8:00am so I am REALLY early. I figure I would go to the supermarket and pick up a few things. Anyone that knows me knows there is no quick shopping for anything for me so I knew I could blow off 30 mins picking up 4 things. And I did. I got to the studio at about 7:45 and it was packed. There were more people in that room that seemed humanly possible. Then, even more people kept coming in. I thought to myself "how is anyone going to be able to move?". So on top of it being a gazillion degrees in the room there were people packed in there like sardines. Packed like sardines and sweating and creating more heat.
No puking, no faiting, no quitting. I got back in and talked myself into continuing this class. I have to finish because quitters never win and winners never quit. Besides, my husband and daughter took the class and they finished and I will be damned if I will let them "beat me". Competitiveness in this household is off the charts. I got back in and tried to keep my mind off the heat. I'm in tree which they then talk you down and you bend forward and have your hands on the floor. I looked back and I notice that this guy's shorts are...not dripping but pouring sweat. It looks like someone is standing over him and just pouring water down his back and it is flowing off his shorts. THAT much water.
I waffled and wavered through the rest of the class and wanted to sprint out of there to the 12 degree weather outside. Nothing about my body wanted to move fast. I tried..I really did try to move fast but I couldn't I was spent. It was about an hour and half and I felt like had just run 50 miles or so. Somewhere along the way I tweaked my back. Nothing too serious, just helping me move slower than I already am. I don't do public showers so I towel off, change clothes and leave.
It is now about 1:30pm and I am still exhausted. My Bikram Yoga experience was marred by my own internal voice. While I didn't love it, I didn't hate it either. I feel like I have to give it another chance. I am going to do another class and avoid the mistakes I made in the first one. I will also remember not to dwell on how frickin' hot it is in there.
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